turning 20, a turning point?

dah lama gila tak update kat my blog sampai url blog sendiri pun lupa. anyway, alhamdulillah jumpa balik blog ni and i can start writing once again. so tak lama lagi, i am turning 20! huhu. muka sedih sangat coz macam baru semalam je masuk sekolah, gaduh dengan kawan and everything but sekarang dah nak menginjak ke angka 20. everything will be different. a whole lot different. the way a conversation be held also will change. maybe, in the near future, akan ada yang sibuk bertanya, bila nak kahwin dan sebagainya. haha. typical.

tapi, bila fikir balik, everything happened for a cause nothing but a good one. in short, bila dah nak masuk umur 20 ni, i started to think of lots of things. about what had happened in the past and how it create my future. now, i am becoming mature with age and started to wonder of why did i rush into things i shouldn't rush into or doing things i shouldn't do, taking responsibilities for one purpose but fame and ended ruining myself. hmm...

tapi segalanya dah in the past. things yang should be left as memories but shouldn't be forgotten. cuma sometimes, deep down inside, i hold lots of regret lah. kadang-kadang rasa nak patah balik masa and start over again. tapi, it can't be done so let's move on into resolving a better future, i guess.

so now in 2016, walaupun lambat 17 hari wishlist ni tapi tak ada sesuatu itu lewat melainkan sesudah mati. so, as to becoming a better me, here's the wishlist:

1. be a happy me. considerate others but never forget me. me comes first. i am my priority.
2. don't hurt me. let go of those hands that wounded me and hold those who never leave.
3. be an affectionate me.
4. be less worry and enjoy life to the fullest.
5. always prepare myself but always cheer for surprises.
6. stop complaining.
7. achieve this dream that wasn't even mine.
now that i'm older, i can be realistic. not all that we want, we can get. if i put trust on Allah sooner, my heart wouldn't be a broken picture. but, humans are made to be forgetful, for those who remember are those who are blessed.